Filled right to the brim; more than content

So last night (this morning?) I stayed up, again, to watch the sun rise. And smartypants me, I grabbed my journal and ran outside so I could capture the feeling. And smartypants me ran through the wet grass like an idiot, to find that my step dad was standing on the front porch, starting at me like I'm an idiot. Which I am. But it was wonderful.

This is what I got.

I can feel the world coming back to me.
Dusty blue, deep turquoise, faded baby pinks highlighting the clouds. Steady shining moon, breaking through the morning dew. Sweet bitter cold, nipping at breathing skin. Sky and heart connecting. Wake up.
I am in love. I am in love with this precious world around me, croaking frogs and twinkling stars.That's enough for me. Whether or not i have someone to share it with... this is enough for me.
Never have I tasted air so sweet, nor as fresh. Never have I seen nature such as this.
This is bliss.
This is beautiful.
Everything is glowing with dawn.
Mist rises from the crisp earth, meeting in the middle with the sky that is just as perfect.
Bliss.
From soaking blades of grass, to the sturdy uneven concrete, feet dance with resistance.
Bright cerulean clashing with puffs of salmon, streaking and exploding across the vast skies. Like careful strokes of wings, rising against the still air. Still... like the clouds, massive and powerful, but steady.
Frozen toes nor "battery low" can sway my heart from overflowing with peace. Bright and proud I rise. I reach out to individuals, not as a whole. Filling at each stop, with love.
Bliss.
Good morning crows, as you kiss the clouds. The cold is refreshing and rejuvenating. Never bitter. Awe and splendor as the sun comes to brushed the horizon. Never have I seen such splendor...
Clouds fade to porcelain, sky to clear and even blue. It is the wings of love that swish and swirl the skies, those wings that add the life to this planet.
This home.
This Dawn.

Safety net, oh safety net, I call to you in a time of need

In the morning, around five twenty three... the sky is lavender. Its pale and dusty, like an underused dream. Its comforting, sweeping away the mysteries of the dark. But the sun comes up incredibly fast when you're sitting there hoping time will stop.

      I watched as shadows twirled and fought through solid materials. I thought. What else was left do to? This is who I am now. I lay awake until the sun comes up, too afraid of what slips into my mind when its dark. Then I waste away the day, lost in dreams of what will never be.

     My only regret is that I do it alone.

     Truth is, I'm missing something.

     When lovers fail, friends catch you before you fall. They tell you that you are right, this is what is right. They hug you and do not let go. They don't allow you a single second to think, maybe... possibly... I want my lover back? But what do you do when your friend, your sister, your other half, won't come home?

     You sit.

     You watch the sun rise, and watch it set.

     You wait.

     You try so hard not to think about how your former lover now has your address to mail your a birthday present. You try not to think about how you know you will lose your strength and fall once you get that present... and how there will be no one around to catch you.